Exploding with excitement!!

I got the final word and I am still in shock! Tonight I was supposed to meet with Jef from the Jesterz. . . . I had hoped for an internship, but didn't know if I would even be considered. I am now an intern/understudy! I struggle to put into words how thrilled I am. I still have SOOOOO much to learn, but I have a desire and passion for doing it. I continually have to re-assure myself that all this is not my imagination. You know when you know you can do it, but your self-doubt wants to make you believe you aren't good enough? I have an extreme in inner conflict constantly! I am my best cheerleader and my worst bully all locked up inside my head~ it gets a little crowded sometimes :)

So maybe I should actually post a complete thought on this subject, however I am having a hard time containing myself and want to shout at the top of my lungs how awesome I feel right now! But I will try to have a thought outside of that.

Accomplishments. . . . I have talked a lot about goals, and accomplishment is perhaps just another way of saying 'goals'. I think goals are something you decide to do that you have control over, and accomplishments create a 'smaller scale' idea. My goals in life are things I set and that I know I can accomplish without much interference or support from others. They are things I feel like I have control over, a challenge that I have given myself. Accomplishments can to be as trivial as me getting in the car and driving on the freeways alone in Phoenix. . . that's an accomplishment. I didn't really have to prepare or work towards it, I did however, have to start the car and force myself to face a fear. I also feel accomplishment in my marriage. . .11 happy years is a BIG accomplishment these days. Recovering from my surgery was an accomplishment. I am not sure if this is really coming out right, or making any type of sense. I just feel like Goals are important, but before you can ever truly fulfill goals or have reward from goals you must have a sense of accomplishment. It is something we should stock up in our heads. All the accomplishments however small or trivial should be stored away and be easily accessible to use at times when we doubt ourselves. I feel a HUGE amount of accomplishment tonight. I also know that I am not even close to being finished with the learning and challenges this new endeavor will provide. I will learn and grow as a performer. I will experience the feelings of failure at times, it's part of learning, but I am sure I will have many more nights that will fill my entire being up with accomplishment.

Finally, I hope I don't wake up tomorrow and this will all have been a dream :)

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