I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Jumbled thoughts in my head. . . .

Do you ever have moments where it seems like a thousands thoughts flood your mind at once? Okay so it may be symptoms of A.D.D., but it sure seems like I feel like that lately. Life can bring us happiness so often along with fears of the unknown or unpredictable. I think a lot about what life will be like for me in the months and years ahead. We can hope, dream and plan for what we want our lives to be like, but inevitably we must accept what we are given. I find I doubt myself frequently. I doubt my ability to accomplish my dreams and yet I cannot allow myself to give up on me. If I don't believe in ME. . . then who will?

Do you ever wonder if you are reaching the full potential of what your life here on earth could be? I think,. . . 'Am I doing the most with what I am given?' . . . 'Am I where I need to be in life to do God's work that I promised I would do?' . . . . 'Am I a good person?' Although I have no doubt that I have done some good thing in my lifetime, I need to improve in sooooo many ways. What is TRULY important in life? I think I know. . . .but I don't think I live it as often as I should.

When life gets tough, I wish I could say I handle it well, but in reality, I have Bryan to thank. He keeps me grounded, motivated, encouraged and confident. Without having him as my reason for life, I would not have had the strength to do many things I have done. He is willing to listen to my rambling thoughts as they spew from my mouth for hours on end. He understands me and what I need. He believes I'm worth 'all the work'. So often I feel like a burden on him and on my family. But I know that isn't true; it's hard to need so much love and compassion and feel like I don't give enough back in return. I guess I just feel like I need to be something great to payback so many that sacrificed for my life like my family, Bryan's family, Bryan, and my Donor and her family. . .

Okay so it's jumbled ramblings of a glimpse into the 'MIND OF ME' I have MANY other thoughts, tons of stuff on lighter subjects, but this is an example of just some.

Save a life..."Be Someone's Hero"....Be an Organ Donor

3 comments:

Ronnie "Sickboy" Sharpe said...

It sounds like Bryan is exactly who you need and who was created for you. Just remember that one reason that Bryan is head over heels for you is because you also complete something in him that was incomplete until he met you. You're obviously a fighter and I would bet that is one thing he absolutely loves about you! So keep up the good fight and start accomplishing those dreams one by one!

It's much better to try and fail, then to never try at all!

Ronnie

Jennifer said...

Most people would have already given up and you have not. You rock and I love you! I really think you should read the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It is somewhat about the post you posted today. It is a short book and a very easy read.

Cammi said...

Jamie,
Thanks for posting your thoughts and insights. It really helps/inspires those of us who are walking a similar path.
Have I ever told you about the blog oceandesert.blogspot.com? She is a post-tranpslant blogger and she has great insights, too. Check it out! I think you will like it.
Take care!
Cammi

Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

My Story - Pause Music Player First

Popular Posts

My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen