I loved playing with my Barbie when I was a young girl. I actually got it in my head that when I would turn 16 I was going to look like Barbie. . . . as you can imagine, I was sorely disappointed. I was anything BUT. I looked more like Skipper if even that good. Why do we put expectations upon ourselves that are out of our control? I STILL don't look like Barbie and I don't have the money to ever look like her :) But I am not Barbie, I am Jamie, and when they make a "Jamie doll" It will be well. . . . a lot smaller. It will have more scars than Barbie (unless it's Barbie post dog chewing) It will have an imperfect smile, and lots of freckles. It will have A LOT more realistic bust size and waist size and it's hair will come in a variety of colors. What I am saying is I had to accept that I don't have to look like anyone but me. I still haven't mastered it by any means. I get caught up in NEEDING to feel pretty, beautiful, desirable . . . what woman ever stops wanting to feel that way?I try hard to change/improve on the things that I have control over. I work out to firm my muscle tone, and stay healthy. I can't change where I carry my extra weight, I can however do the work to improve what I can. Some things I can't change without a surgery of some type and frankly I have had enough surgeries for ten lifetimes. Does that mean I just don't care about the things I can't change? No. I still have my "UGLY" days and my "I'm not good enough" days. But I have more "I am amazing" days. Someday hopefully everyday will be an "I am amazing" day, however I am human and we may never feel perfect, because we are not.
Would a flower garden be nearly as beautiful if all the flowers were exactly the same size, kind, color, shape? It would be boring after just a few seconds. Our individuality is what makes us create a beautiful flower garden. So I tell my evil conscience to SHUT UP and enjoy the view.Save a life * Be Someone's Hero * Be an Organ Donor
5 comments:
Think of all the wigs the Jamie doll would come with ;)
All I can say is *Amen sister*
the flower garden analogy is so true!!!!!
Amen cysta!!!!!!!!!! <3
Jamie, thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one. It seems crazy to be obsessing about such physical things after all we have been through, but we are human. We are both beautiful flowers, thanks for the reminder!
Love you! Nancy
P.S. Would you please, please vote for me on Wellsphere, I would love you forever (not that I wouldn't anyway, but you know what I mean.)
Jamie - thanks for this beautiful reminder. Even when we get older, we still have these same feelings of wishing we could change certain things about ourselves. I have a list way longer than yours. I look at you, Nancy and Cammi and think that you are all so beautiful - inside and out - a rare quality in this world today!
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