I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Monday, November 23, 2009

What did CF ever do for me?

This time of year always makes me a little reminiscent of my past, my blessings, and well just life in general. I have made friends and reconnected with a lot of CF friends in the last few months. As I read their posts of the daily trials, pains, complaints and hope for a cure and better treatment, it has made me reflect on my life with CF. . . .

I want to THANK the Lord for giving me such a challenging and rewarding disease. I have never regretted or wished it to go away, until the end. . .and even then I knew I was stronger because of it. Cystic Fibrosis didn't define me, but it was one of the biggest influences on who I am. I am proud to be a tough woman. Needles don't scare me, blood doesn't make me woozy, and I could spit with the best of them. I was tough physically and learned how to endure more pain than most, but I also learned how to be emotionally strong. Almost to a fault. I had a pretty thick wall which kept me surrounded in a safe place away from the harshness of the world. I was able to be happier that way. I always felt like I lived in a healthy level of denial. I never fully accepted the fact that I was playing a game that was rigged so there was no chance I would ever win. If I believed that I had limitations, then I would have been limited . . . and what fun is that?CF. . . what did it ever do for me? Let me list just a few things:

CF camp!
I discovered my talent and love for acting at CF camp when I was 8 yrs old.
I mastered Hula Hooping at CF camp :)
Realized my love for dancing at CF camp
I look 10 yrs younger than I am. . . .
Cystic Fibrosis made me treasure every day I lived
I was given a Make-A-Wish
I knew Bryan loved me for more than just the wrapping my soul came in. . .
I can eat whatever I want and stay skinny :)
Met hundreds of people that I wouldn't have otherwise
My love for swimming was also discovered at CF camp
My life is unique and I can share it with others
It made me know who I was & what I wanted to be

Believe me I have many times in my life that I haven't been able to do the things I wanted because of having Cystic Fibrosis. Even when I was unable to have children. . . .I didn't wish CF away, because frankly, I am scared of the kind of person I would be if I didn't have it. So I guess this time of year, be Thankful for the good things in your life, but don't forget the things in life that are tough, sad, challenging, or devastating. . because all of those things together are what make you, you. I am grateful for the bad times so I recognize the good ones.

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Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

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My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen