Getting over the FEAR

This is a post I did for another CF site. I thought I would also share it here.

Fear is an important part of life I think. It makes us "do" or "not do" a lot of things. For me Fear drove me to do the hardest thing I have ever done. I was afraid of failure, defeat, and most of all leaving my loved ones. So fear drove me to fight. Fear of the unknown made me stronger and more determined. Fear is not always a negative thing. Overcoming my fears has brought some of the greatest feelings of accompishment! Knowing I pushed myself beyond my fear, beyond my doubt, beyond myself.

I remember when I forced myself to face a HUGE fear of mine. . .ROLLER COASTERS~ What drove me to "not" ever ride one, fear. What drove me to force myself to ride one? Fear of looking like a wimp! I tried to reason out why I was scared, only to find that I was "over thinking" all of it. I talked myself into being afraid because I calculated and stressed over all the freak accidents that "could" happen. I finally forced myself to ride the roller coaster so I could impress a boy. . . .the fear of looking stupid was greater than my fear of the whole thing derailing and falling to my death. I found that after riding it about 5 times I was no longer screaming the entire time. . ..and by the 10th time I kinda enjoyed it. I slowly moved to bigger roller coasters and even though I find myself wanting to back out of trying new things, I think "I might like it." Okay, so this post does have a point I promise :) Now in our everyday life I think it's easy to let fear stop us from trying new things, going new places or even just being ourselves. I am trying to learn not to "over think" and calculate every possible outcome to new or scary things. I think I am learning how to see things as an opportunity instead of a fear. Turning my fears into strength and motivation to push myself a little. The thing that brought much fear into my mind was the thing I overcame and I owe my life to doing so. I have many fears I face everyday. I face an audience and a director every weekend with a fear of not being funny enough. Recently I have noticed a fear of pursuing my dreams. . why? I am not sure, I am still working on the fear of success, the fear of failure and the fear of rejection (physical and emotional) Getting over our fears that hold us back is a life time worth of work. . . . I should have started earlier in life :)

Honestly. . . fear of getting sick and the fear of dying was (and still is) an underlying motivation that helps me do my meds, my treatments, exercise and take care of myself. I agree with what a Fibro of of mine said. "I fear looking back and seeing that I didn't do EVERYTHING possible to kick CF's booty and live~" I fear looking back and seeing I didn't do enough. That I didn't make a difference, that I didn't do great things with my gift of life.

I hope all that somehow makes sense.

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