I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5
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Monday, March 1, 2010

Ambien Night

I have gone about a month without taking ambien to sleep only because I felt like a bit of a zombie most of the day when I was taking them~ but tonight I have been unsuccessful at falling asleep. I am going to resort to to drug induced sleep. One thing contributing to my inability to sleep is probably the couple (or more) bad scenes from Saturday Nights performance!! Ugh, I get so frustrated and I can't stop the scene from running through my head over and over again. . . . I re-live my bad choices on stage.~ It sucks. I just ask myself. . ."What was I thinking??" Oh well, can't change the past. . .and in improv thankfully I will never have to do those scenes again :) I will just have to work at "NOT" doing scenes that mirror those :) I am still learning. . . maybe lessons will stick with me when I completely bomb! Mistakes are okay if I learn from them right?? This is a perfect example as to why I question what I want to spend my life (borrowed time) doing.

My life is running on borrowed time. . . . However I think I really see it as gifted time :)

Night~ I drug my think is kicking in. . . .

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1 comment:

ambien said...

Ambien is horrible. It made me psychotic. It really aggravated/worsened my Depression, gave me hallucinations, and made me extremely restless and anxious.

March 8, 2011 at 2:08 AM

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It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen