Stress doesn't really fall under just one category. It can be described by many people in many different ways. What causes stress for one person may not be the cause for another. Stress for me comes and goes. My life overall is pretty stress free. . . .I create stress, or better yet, I allow things to stress me out. Of course right now I have plenty of things that would (and do) bring on stress. I find myself grinding my teeth, pacing, crying randomly, and writing things down over and over in a tablet hoping it will make me feel better :)
This is going to be a crazy month. I don't want to rant about why I am stressing out so I will give you a shortened version. Doing new things, moving so far away from home, going to an unknown place. . .It's just a lot of change all at one time. Some of it of course is me feeling like I need to please everyone, knowing that is going to be impossible through this. AND. . .worrying about getting sick in cold winter months. But despite my stress, I do have faith that the Lord is watching over us and this will all work itself out. I just have an abundance of things and situations to worry about. I am the queen of trying to work out all the "what if's". Like "what if there is a hurricane while Bryan is in the Caribbean?" he seriously told me just a few days ago that was a silly worry. . . .then today he talked to his sister who lives there and she said "There is a Hurricane hitting the island right now!" HA! I was right!!! :)
Needless to say my life is going to get crazy and I am without a doubt going to be stressed out. I need to realize that I can't please everyone. I am more easily stressed out now post transplant. More anxious, more worrisome, more stressed. I also know that with the help of others, and klonopin. . .I will get through this :) Good things will come from all our sacrifice. . . .I pray it does.
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2 weeks ago