I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Working Again?!

So as my previous post mentioned I have started a part time job. I spent a lot of time "thinking" about whether it was something I wanted to do. Being post transplant it seems like every decision I make has to be weighed out on the "How will this effect my lungs?" scale. However, I've gotten to the point where I need something to help me feel like I am contributing.

Post transplant life is awesome 95% of the time. . .seriously. But there is a tiny bit that is hard (it might be more than 5% haha) There are times when I feel lost in a way. It's hard to explain, but I am sure other post transplant patients have probably experienced the feeling. "What Now?" I had dealt emotionally with the probability of my life coming to an end in 2007. I had to be prepared to accept that and so when I got a 2nd chance I feel like I was unprepared. I hadn't really planned that far ahead. It was all "what was happening RIGHT NOW" I dealt with what came at me minute by minute, day by day. Now I think about "what's happening tomorrow. . .next week. . .next month. . next year". . . Because I will live to see those.

It's been almost 4 years. I have done a lot of really cool things. I have my worries, I feel overwhelmed sometimes by my fear of "what if. . ." and my biggest fear of all "rejection", but living in fear is no way really LIVE. Therefore I have overcome those fears by doing things that perhaps my first instinct is to fear them. Which includes "Going Back to WORK". So far I am confident that I have made the right choice! Of course there is always going to be a little fear, but I feel the reward I get from feeling productive and building new relationships will outweigh any fears :)

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Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

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My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen