I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

4 yrs ago 'The ICU'

Today is a day to celebrate and reflect. I'm just 3 days away from my 4 year transplantiversary. . .this is the day every year that I think about what was my last few breaths I took on my own. On 12.10.07 I was to the point of dementia. I didn't really understand my surroundings but I knew one thing, I was in pain. I remember being really tired and wanted to sleep. I also remember feeling very thirsty and Orange Juice sounded so delicious. I was scared. I knew that no matter what happened I had done my part. I had done all I could. I didn't give up on me & I am glad Bryan, Dr. Pilewski, the surgeons, the nurses, and friends and family didn't give up on me either.

4 years ago today I talked to my dad on the phone. . .possibly for the last time. He asked me if I had carried my burden long enough. . . .
I answered "Yes".  . .

I answered yes to that question for the first time in my life. I was willing to bear my burden for as long as I was asked to. I also believe we are never given more than we can handle. I had finally reached my end. I had carried my burden as long as I could. On this day Four years ago my faith and the faith & prayers of others was seen and heard by God and answered. I could no longer carry my weak, sick and diseased body for one more breath and I didn't have to. The ventilator could do it for me. . .
When Bryan was approached about putting me on the ventilator, it was a decision he didn't want to have to make. . . and definitely not make it alone. He says I told him to do it that I told him it was the right thing to do. I don't remember telling him that, but I must have had an insider tip.

The Transplant team met & decided my life needed to be saved. Most centers would have listed all the many reasons I shouldn't be a transplant candidate, but UPMC doctors looked at my case and said "Why Not?" Paul my pre-transplant coordinator began working on getting me listed and by the end of December 7th 2007 I was listed at the TOP of the transplant list. I was listed with a Lung Allocation Score of around 90. . .most people are listed  in the 30's.

I was in the ICU and the Ventilator was now breathing for me, I was resting peacefully . . . and the wait began. . .

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Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

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My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen