A friend and I were talking about "changes" in ourselves that we noticed post transplant. Most of them are funny like that I can tolerate and sometimes even crave seafood now. .which I HATED pre transplant. I also notice I have a lot less patience and I am more irritable than before. I am still pretty even tempered (I think) but Bryan might disagree. haha. I get stressed out easier and I have a difficult time getting over it. The other night I bought some KRAFT cheese slices only to get them home and realize they were the wrong ones. . .I was sooooooooooo bugged and upset that I threw the cheese and cried about it. . . .I would have never had that reaction to something as small as buying the wrong cheese. It's funny now, but at the time I was quite mad, frustrated, bugged and stressed at the same time.
I also notice that I am a lot more self conscience about my weight. I am so afraid of the effects of Prednisone that I over compensate. Which isn't a bad thing, I'm not developing an eating disorder. .I'm just more aware of what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising. I weigh the most I EVER have in my life, which I should be happy about but now I'm always worried it will lead to things like diabetes, cellulite and muffin top (oh my) haha! It's difficult to go from being really lean and having mostly muscle tone to struggling with keeping muscle tone. It's a constant battle that I never really had to fight before my transplant, so it's just an adjustment. . .not necessarily a bad thing, just different. When I mention it to Bryan his response is "Welcome to the real world" . .. .so true, CF might have sucked for breathing but eating whatever I wanted and staying lean was a bonus. Now I am dealing with issues that "normal" women deal with. . .controlling my appetite and staying in shape :)
Fear! Fear is a HUGE factor in my life now post transplant. I am CONSTANTLY thinking "worst case scenarios". If someone asks me do to something or go somewhere with them, my brain automatically imagines the worst thing that could happen. I can't help it, but I over think the "what if's" until it drives me crazy. haha. Those are just a few of the things I have noticed. I'm not complaining, it is what it is and I'll take all the quirky things I do now in order to breath.
So does anyone else post transplant notice anything that has changed a little in your personality? I would love to know. :)
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