I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Monday, March 18, 2013

Every day is a gift

I have been dealing with losing a close CF/transplant friend Susanne....as some of you who follow my blog you may know that Susanne was in Chronic Rejection & the aggressive treatments were not successful in stopping the rejection. She earned her angel wings last week 3/13/13. There are a couple of ways to feel about this, and I have struggles imensly with both. Due to the reality that someday it will be me fighting the thing I dread most ....rejection, this hits deep in my heart and I am very emotional about it. The two ways I see it is we can say "it wasn't fair, she only got two years" or we can say she was given a miracle and the gift of life for two years. I choose the later. Every day post transplant is a gift from God and our Donors, I don't feel like its right for me expect a certain amount of time...or to allow myself to feel cheated somehow. All of us who are living with a transplanted organ are living each and every day because it is a gift we are receiving. That doesn't make it any easier accepting the fact that Susanne and so many others who's gift of time expires. However it does help me from feeling bitter or angry, the life and legacy we leave behind for others to remember us by is truly an amazing and powerful opportipunity. Everyone on the earth will be called back into the arms of our Lord....no one knows how much time they need to complete what they need to while they are here and I believe that when our work here is done and we no longer have to carry our burdens that is when God calls us back home. Susannes work was done, she carried her burden, left her legacy and inspired those who needed her in their lives and her reward is to be in heaven and watch over the rest of us until we too are called home. I know I'll meet Susannw someday in heaven and what a great Celebration it will be.

Is hard to live without the fear of the day I have to face rejection....but that was something I knew was a possibility, actually a fact. I also accepted the risk when I agreed to the surgery. I should have died over five years ago...so I am very thankful for the last five years I have been gifted. I pray my family and friends also see my life in the same light. We will love many and have to say "goodbye" temporary...actually its never "goodbye" but "see you later" 

I'll "see you later Susanne". I loved you so much Cyster. 

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Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

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My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen