I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Friday, September 18, 2009

Looking back through the past year. . . .

My previous post was the goals I WANT to accomplish in the next year, but I got to thinking. . .what have I accomplished since my transplant? What goals did I reach 2008-2009? So I will reflect back and try to think of a few. I find myself discouraged sometimes. I am my biggest saboteur in a seance. I KNOW I am talented and can pretty much accomplish what I set my mind to. . but I have little monster that lives inside me somewhere and tries to tell me I am just not good enough, talented enough, liked enough, driven enough, tough enough. . . etc. It's interesting because despite fighting within myself I do find that I know I am capable of anything I want to do or be. I just have to cry it out sometimes, get a pep talk from Bryan and he reminds to ignore my internal fear monster. I really don't think anyone (I could be wrong) ever feels like they are always reaching their full potential. I know I don't. That said, who decides our full potential but ourselves?. . . .we are in charge of what we can and can't do ~ There may be some barriers that can try to prevent us and usually make it a lot more difficult. But ultimately it has to be US that decide we have done enough and quit. . . or shoot for the stars and catch one. No one else can make those decisions in our life but us. Money is one of my obstacles right now. It is incredibly difficult to do some of the things which I know I need in order to further my acting. . . . but that is temporary. I CAN do things at home to improve my skills and that is something I have control over.
I guess I find it a temptation to place the blame of my failures on someone. . . or something else. But when it really comes down to it, I am the only one to blame.

So let me reflect on a few things that I did that I feel were an accomplishment in the last year or so. . . .

2006-
*Started a theatre/acting program to offer more arts to the youth in my hometown community

2007-

*Overcame much sickness
*Wrote a children's melodrama play
*Read the Book of Mormon (life long goal)
*Wrote in my 5th journal faithfully
*Directed the Children's Play "BIG BAD" (while on oxygen)
*Designed a Float for our school (CBTA) and won BEST OVERALL!
*Helped organize and was active in fund raising for my lung transplant fundraisers
*Actively sought out a transplant center who would even consider me ~ Didn't give up!
*Made the choice to leave my life in GOD's hands. . . .
*Despite the statitics against me. . . I survived the surgery.

2008-

*Created and keep up a blog that has reached and helped many people.
*Created a video of my transplant experience and share it with the world on You Tube
*Pushed through the absolute worse and most painfull thing in my ENTIRE life~ recovery
*Got back to working with the kids at my school the day after I flew home from Pittsburgh ~ just 3 months after my surgery.
*Gained 30 pounds. . . .(that's a good thing)
*Started writing a book about my life and my transplant
*HAD NO REJECTION ~ NO INFECTION
*Did some work/projects with my Vinyl Machine (Vinyl Bug)
*Directed the children's play "SEVEN NASTY PRINCESSES"
*Played the role of one of the witches in "THE SEVEN NASTY PRINCESSES"
*Designed another award winning float with a theme of WILLY WONKA :)
*Got back on my horse again . . .back to riding bareback :)
*Left all that at home behind me to support Bryan going to Motorcycle Mechanic School
*Moved to Arizona. . . . .
*Started taking tv/film acting classes

2009-
*Turned 30 (a big milestone)
*Volunteer making scrapbook pages for "Save the Family"
*Designed and make vinyl decal to raise ORGAN DONOR AWARENESS and SUPPORT
*Found an Improv Theater. . .the Jesterz. . . wanted to be involved~ started classes
*Got a Cepacia Infection . . . fought through that to regain full health back
*Continued learning at the Jesterz studio 168
*Performed over 7 showcases Improvisation shows
*Auditioned for a lifetime miniseries. . .got a callback for a booking (unfortunanelty I had the stomach flu)
*Auditioned for other independant films along with a talent agent (very intimidating)
*Got my first role as an extra in a VERY, VERY independant film (I was an extra)
*Working towards getting an internship with Jesterz in the future.
*Working towards improving so I can get a good talent agent.
*Finished my BOOK. . "28 Breaths A Minute" and mailed the manuscript to Deseret Publishin CO.

I think it's a really important to reflect back on the things you have accomplished. . .even if they seem small or boring. Look back, maybe decide to make some bigger goals in the future or just be proud of the things you have accomplished.


Hope I didn't BORE you. . . .and please don't take this post as me bragging~ I just needed to remind myself that I am doing the most with the new life I have been given.

Save a life..."Be Someone's Hero"....Be an Organ Donor

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Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

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My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen