I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Exploding with excitement!!

I got the final word and I am still in shock! Tonight I was supposed to meet with Jef from the Jesterz. . . . I had hoped for an internship, but didn't know if I would even be considered. I am now an intern/understudy! I struggle to put into words how thrilled I am. I still have SOOOOO much to learn, but I have a desire and passion for doing it. I continually have to re-assure myself that all this is not my imagination. You know when you know you can do it, but your self-doubt wants to make you believe you aren't good enough? I have an extreme in inner conflict constantly! I am my best cheerleader and my worst bully all locked up inside my head~ it gets a little crowded sometimes :)

So maybe I should actually post a complete thought on this subject, however I am having a hard time containing myself and want to shout at the top of my lungs how awesome I feel right now! But I will try to have a thought outside of that.

Accomplishments. . . . I have talked a lot about goals, and accomplishment is perhaps just another way of saying 'goals'. I think goals are something you decide to do that you have control over, and accomplishments create a 'smaller scale' idea. My goals in life are things I set and that I know I can accomplish without much interference or support from others. They are things I feel like I have control over, a challenge that I have given myself. Accomplishments can to be as trivial as me getting in the car and driving on the freeways alone in Phoenix. . . that's an accomplishment. I didn't really have to prepare or work towards it, I did however, have to start the car and force myself to face a fear. I also feel accomplishment in my marriage. . .11 happy years is a BIG accomplishment these days. Recovering from my surgery was an accomplishment. I am not sure if this is really coming out right, or making any type of sense. I just feel like Goals are important, but before you can ever truly fulfill goals or have reward from goals you must have a sense of accomplishment. It is something we should stock up in our heads. All the accomplishments however small or trivial should be stored away and be easily accessible to use at times when we doubt ourselves. I feel a HUGE amount of accomplishment tonight. I also know that I am not even close to being finished with the learning and challenges this new endeavor will provide. I will learn and grow as a performer. I will experience the feelings of failure at times, it's part of learning, but I am sure I will have many more nights that will fill my entire being up with accomplishment.

Finally, I hope I don't wake up tomorrow and this will all have been a dream :)

Save a life..."Be Someone's Hero"....Be an Organ Donor

2 comments:

Judy Stohl said...

Jamie - congratulations! You are amazing!! You have set so many goals and are reaching them so quickly. You are an inspiration to me. I have followed your blog since before your transplant when you were on the news in Idaho. Your next goal should be to make a movie of your life!!
(Cammi's mom)

Nancy said...

Congratulations, Jamie! That is wonderful! I am so proud of you. Keep knocking those goals off the list.

Love you! Nancy

Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

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My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen