I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears, behold I will heal thee.
2Kings 20:5

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Where my life is. . .

getting what I want out of life seems like an overwhelming task most days. I think of all the things I have done and all the things left to do and It makes me re-think the ones I have yet to do. . .

As life changes so does the priority of what I want to do. Having a feeling like my new found life could come crashing back down at any moment from 'chronic rejection' makes it impossible to not worry about what is the most important things I want to do, what I want to be or where I want to go. Living in fear is no way to really live either so I really don't focus on that. Like I said earlier. . .I would be lying if I said I never think about the "what if's".

I like where my life has taken me and where I am now. It's not always easy but I believe I have control whether I am happy or not and I choose happiness. I miss Idaho a lot. I miss my family & Bryan's family. I miss my friends and I miss riding horses with my mom. If I spent everyday focusing on what I don't have or can't do then I would surely be unhappy. I cannot control any of those things that I miss. I can only be happy here and try to go home when I can. I can control those things.

My biggest priority is Bryan, so as long as I am with him and he is happy then I am happy. I find things to occupy my time and I discover new talents when my other talents cannot be fulfilled at the moment. In a way it forces me to explore new things about myself that manifest when I am put in a new place/situation. Being pushed forward and not looking back except to reminisce and enjoy the memories.

Life can't have regrets if I choose to never regret the things I've done that has shaped me into the person I am today.

A friend of mine sent this picture to me...I am probably around 12 yrs old in this picture. That was around the age CF started to advance for me and I started spending a lot of time in the hospital but I think this picture speaks volumes about how I choose to live life. . . I pretty much had a smile on my face no matter what life threw at me.

Photobucket  Save a Life...Be Someone's Hero...    
 Be An Organ Donor!

2 comments:

Jen said...

Love the picture! Super kid cute you were :)

Hanging out with the Riley's said...

hahahaa this is a great picture of you Ja. And by the way the song you have as your main theme this month is GREAT! I teared up reading this post mostly because you had it playing!~ hahaa. Love you your bum. wish I was able to see you always!!

Where to start to learn about my transplant!

Thank You for taking the time to read my blog. I am hoping that through this blog and my experiences that I can bring hope, faith and strength to all that may be living with Cystic Fibrosis, CF with Cepacia and Lung Transplant recipients. Information and blog entrees start Nov. 07. My Double Lung Transplant was on Dec. 10th 2007. Please feel free to read about my experience and ask me any questions! My email address is jamiebug77@gmail.com

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My Testimony

It's hard to put into words how I feel toward my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I have so many reasons to be thankful for what I have gone through & endured. Because of my trials in life I have gained a strong testimony of Faith. I have always had Faith in the Lord and in Prayer. As I faced the decision to get a double lung transplant I had to rely on faith to make the choice.....By listening to the spirit, I was guided to Pittsburgh where my life was saved. I believe prayers are answered. I have always tried to follow the philosophy of this: If I do what the Lord expects of me, he will give me what I want & need. That has always worked for me. I Believe in MIRACLES..........My life on this earth is a miracle- I prayed on my knees for years to be healed from my lung disease. I knew that through a priesthood blessing (if it was God's will) I could be healed. So many times I thought he would heal me instantly...my faith was tested as I continued to get sick and no cure was in my future. I turned to prayer....I talked to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him and he heard me and he healed me by guiding me to Pittsburgh and guiding the surgeons hands. I learned humility, and thankfulness. I realized that we need others to lean on and we are supposed to strengthen each others testimonies. I learned that the hardest things we'll do are usually the greatest blessings in our life. I was able to experience a lot of things during surgery and I know I had comforting angels in my ICU room. THe Lord knows each of us by name and he will never leave our side. We need to remember to stay close to him and have Faith that he is watching over us. I know this for a fact! I know that following the gospel will bring us true happiness- the world will tell us otherwise, but I know I am truely happy & living the gospel has brought me that. Amen