How I love Thee!

Valentines Day is just around the corner! We have never really celebrated it much ever. It is CRAZY to consider trying to go out to dinner that night, so we don't do that. We usually buy each other something nice. . .not too elaborate. But this year I would like to come up with something inexpensive yet creative and meaningful. Usually all I ever ask from Bryan is for him to write me a love letter! I like getting those and I keep them all together in a shadow box I made many, many years ago. I keep love letters from him to me and also love letters I have wrote to him.

When I was in my teens I thought I never wanted to marry, have a family, and do all the traditional 'llife' stuff. I had good reason too. I knew I would likely not live to see my 30th birthday or possibly even my 20th birthday. I felt like it would be wrong to let someone love me and have to lose me. I knew a family would pretty much be impossible due to infertility and risk of pregnancy. I thought I was happy being alone, living "MY" life. I am glad I am wrong, I am glad that GOD has a plan for me and that he knew I needed Bryan. I met Bryan when I was just 19. I wasnt' looking for someone to love or to love me back, but that's what happened. I felt guilty sometimes, like I was cheating him from being with someone who could give him things I couldn't (like kids and growing old together). I know nothing in life is a guarantee. . .but I knew I had an expiration date much sooner than most. I just know that I would have never made it through life and living with CF as an adult if I hadn't had him by my side the whole time. Love can make us stronger than we think we can be. I pushed myself through the sick times to get healthy to have more time with him. He spent countless nights with my in the hospital because I couldn't stand to watch him leave. He was my motivator to do my meds and treatments. He wouldn't give up on me and wouldn't allow me to give up on myself. I thought I needed a life alone to accomplish my Dream of Acting. . .when I really needed loved, 100% undying, dedicated, unconditionally loved. I married my husband, Bryan, over 11 years ago. I am so thankful I didn't cheat myself out of the past WONDERFUL 11 years. I think it is always a challenge to let people into our lives, because we feel like we need to protect them from something. CF as an adult is hard, and it's absolutely hard on the ones who love us, who spend every day with us. . .who watch us as we get sicker. I know that Bryan wouldn't want to have done it any differently. I know that the spouses of CFers are pretty incredible people. I have had a conversations with my Cyster whom I am very close with. . . and we both agree that people who can love us soooooo much and carry us when we can't walk are more amazing people than we can ever hope to be. Anyone who has someone in their life probably realizes how strong and incredible their loved one is. Make sure to tell them how much you love them everyday!

There are a lot of things we may think are 'important', but love is what makes life worth living!

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