Tears running down my cheeks. . .

I thought I could be tough. . .or at least appear to be tough. But I am an emotional softy and goodbyes kill me. I put on a tough exterior because that's how I have dealt with so much pain and sorrow in my short lifetime. Today was not a day where I could be tough. I rode Pixydust and she was a dream. I unsaddled her and brushed her. . . as I brushed her I had my sister take some pics of me with her since I was leaving today (Wednesday the 14th). I really do think horses and other animals can feel love and affection. When Nikkii started taking pics of us, Pixy layed her head against me as if she was hugging me. I put both my arms around her head and hugged her back. She didn't pull away.

I walked her to her pasture and released her. . .she lingered and gave me a few more snuggles. As I watched her turn and walk away from me, tears began to build up in my eyes. She stopped and glanced back at me. I couldn't bring myself to leave the gate and walk back to my mother's. It was the hardest good bye to say. . .and we used no words. I know I have a special bond with my miracle horse. We are meant to be in each others lives. She brings more happiness into my world than just about anything else. It's hard to have to say good bye to her. . .not knowing when I'll make it home again to ride her.

Being alive and healthy enough to ride my horse is truly a gift from my Donor and her family. Every time I ride Pixy. . .I think about how if I hadn't had a Donor when I needed one, I would have never been able to do this. I actually would have never lived to see Pixy again. What an incredible person my donor must have been. Her lungs have given me so many wonderful gifts and treasured memories  for almost 4 years.

Pixy was born in the spring of 2007. . .I was in Pittsburgh fighting for a second chance at life Dec 2007. What an incredible journey!


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