Almost 40!!
In about 2 weeks I will have the honor of turning 40! I honestly can't believe it. When I was growing up I watched many of my fellow friends who also had Cystic Fibrosis pass away at very young ages. . I hoped to live in to my young adulthood. I never really planned to go to college or get married because deep down I understood that with Cystic Fibrosis I would not need to worry about "life". I never gave up, I never stopped making plans, and I accomplishing goals I set for myself. I always knew in my soul that I was very blessed to have such an amazing childhood and many of my fondest memories are related to my cystic fibrosis.
So many things in life are unknown. I live with a terminal illness that has many different complications and limitations however, I live with a terminal illness that has taught me how to see the beauty in everyday. No one can go through life without trials, loss, fear, regret or love. My life has been a roller-coaster of all those things. Joy, happiness, love, forgiveness, laughter, and faith are all things we can choose to have in our life. That's the only thing that makes anyone's life appear "better". My life is no better or worse than anyone else's in the entire world. My life is just that it's "My Life" and it will teach me how to be the kind of person I need/want to be.
I am not really sure what feelings I am wanting to express in this post...I just love the life I have been given. I am not a person who likes grey skies and rainy days as most people don't. I do however love the feeling I get when I see the rainbow which accompanies storms. I would hope that everyone can choose to see the rainbow when it rains. We lived in Oklahoma for several years. The tornado producing storms that frequent that area scared me so bad when we moved there. Tornados can cause a lot of damage, suffering and disruptions and despite the advancement in Weather tracking it's still something we cannot control or prevent. In life we have tornados/storms that will roar into our lives and cause us pain, suffering and even total disaster but there is only one option after a storm: Clean up and REBUILD. I have never found focusing on what someone else 'HAS' ever to be productive in my own life.
I have had to endure my own life trials. I have had to learn what is important in my life. I have had to prioritize wants and needs. I have had to learn how to love myself so that I can love someone else. I have lived in denial. I have faced reality. I have been through more than I thought I could handle. I have had to find strength. I have had to be guarded. I have cried in silence and isolation. I have asked for help. I have been taught how to love and trust deeper than I knew I could.
Your life is yours and your happiness is your responsibility.
Save a Life...Be Someone's Hero... Be An Organ Donor!
3 comments:
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